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This is really great. A fantastic, talented blogger reviewed Reform and kind of liked it. I suppose. Sort of didn’t. Said it was okay. Which is more than I hoped for – but better than that…in a longer essay on dystopias and the portrayal of women my short story was mentioned in the same sentence as The Hunger Games and Never Let Me Go.

It’s a great essay. As many people should read it as possible.

But how flattering is that?

I’m a feminist and I try to promote equality in everything I write, no matter how poor it is – and I’m really glad this was noticed.

Now obviously not fit to lick the boots of Ishiguro or Collins, but I am deeply, deeply flattered.


So I’m writing…

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So I’m writing again after finishing my political near-future story Reform about a month ago – maybe, I don’t know anymore; all the days blend into one now.

I’ve been unemployed since graduating in June of last year. I’m not sure when I officially become classed as long-term unemployed, but I know that I’m already classed by others, and myself, as a scrounger, lazy, stupid, freakish…I could go on – but I haven’t claimed any benefits in that time…anyway!

Ever since I was about nine, all I could think of doing was writing. I wanted to write and write and write. I would invent stories to tell friends on the bus into school. I would write silly little comic scripts and send them out to friends. I would invent (lie, let’s be honest) about hundreds of things a week. I kept the desire to myself, from the few who knew. I didn’t tell my family I intended to be a writer, and I told at most three friends.

I was embarrassed, sure; people from where I’m from don’t just become authors. I don’t believe I have the talent, or the determination, or the grit, or the thick-skinnedness to be one. I assumed people would laugh in my face and tell me to work in an office.

I postponed my time to properly devote my life to writing full-time constantly. Next summer, Christmas, next summer, Christmas, after school, after sixth form, after university. After graduating I had no other excuse so I wrote. And I don’t think I’m any good. A few of my short stories are on the Amazon store but they’re at best “unsuccessful”. Ive made on total about three quid from writing. If that.

Writing is the only way I can think of making my way in life. I can’t really interact with people I don’t know really well. I find leaving the house increasingly difficult. I have lost friends by the week until now I can count them on one hand. I can’t work in an office, or in Tesco for the rest of my life. I physically can’t. It’s not below me. I’m just incapable of it. Writing is the only way I ever pictured getting out of where I live.

But I’m failing.

I can’t do anything. I can’t go outside, or get the bus, or buy food. I can’t move out of my parent’s house, or get a car. I can’t do anything. My days are static and full of sleep.

Writing is something that I do in short bursts. Complete. Give it out to the world and then instantly regret it.

I enjoy it. It makes me happy, but the aftermath of shame I feel after doing it is not worth it. I feel worthless when no-one likes my work.

I figure I’ll let the exclusive Amazon-only rights on my stories expire and then post them all only for free. Probably best.

Nothing and new

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Reform didn’t really garner much attention. A few free downloads, and two reviews in the UK – one of which being posted to the US version too. Mostly positive which is nice. But still only a hundred or so free downloads, and I think one paid so far with no signs of this taking an upswing.

I had an idea today for an addition to my zombie horror story series (The Four Horsemen) about a couple suriving in a dead world, dealing with mental illness and loneliness – and I jotted off the opening paragraph but…I don’t know.

It’s a LOT of work to get 1 download. I don’t think it’s worth it.

Reform and Collected Edition

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Finally got them all loaded up. Hopefully they’re anywhere near enjoyable.

The new short story is here. It’s called Reform. You can get it here in the US and UK.

So my updated Collected Edition included Reform is also up. Here it is in the US and the UK.

Both are available for free for the next five days starting tomorrow.

This is my last try.


So that’s that…

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Updated my Collected Edition to contain the new short story, so hopefully that’s better value now.

And the short story is going up on its own, too. I’ll whack them both on the full amount of free days I can do from the very beginning and hopefully people will want them at all.

I detest self promotion of any kind, but I’ll post the links when they go live.